I'm a colossal dumbass.

Ok, so I was out with the lads today, pissing about, having a laugh, all that good stuff. We were trying to find a new seat for our rope-swing, and we found a big branch to snap in half. Spent 10 minutes trying to break the fucker, until I got the bright idea to hit a tree with it and snap it in half, like you do. Stupid me, ignoring all science and reason, swung it at a tree and caused it to rebound straight into my face.

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